Why you should never run with Scissors

Many of you who know me have heard this little morality tale before, but I will take every opportunity to teach others by my example.

As a young child I was told many things. One of them was that I was not supposed to run with scissors. I was an inquisitive child and I asked why I should not run with scissors, but I was never given an answer. This frustrated me to no end, but I grew up and eventually just accepted that I should not run with scissors.

As I went through life I have done many things, I have gone many places and I have seen many things. my mind has been occupied, but on some dark, quiet nights as I lay in bed I would think back to that old mystery....why should I not run with scissors?

I allowed my life to fall into a routine. Every day seemed to be the same thing and I no longer had time to look for the answers to mysteries. I would go to work, then I would go to the park and run, and then I would go to bed. The next morning it would be the same thing. One evening after work I drove to the park for my evening run, as usual. As I got out of my car and stretched my calves, I looked down at the ground only to see a pair of scissors.

All at once, the questions of my youth came back to me. It was like I was being overwhelmed by a tidal wave. I had to know...I had to know this...so I picked up the scissors and I began to run.

I ran one lap, noticing the horrified stares of my fellow run-monkeys...but I did not put the scissors down. I ran another lap...people were avoiding me now, but I still ran...I ran with scissors!

Finally I came to a stop. I had done it. I had run with scissors.I stood there cooling down. I realized that after all these years of being told not to run with scissors...there was no reason for it. No reason at all! It was OK to run with scissors.

I then saw someone walking up to me. It was an elderly gentleman. I saw that he was holding a frying pan. Just as I was about to say good evening the old guy nailed my in the nuts with the frying pan! I crumpled to the ground with tears welling up in my eyes...because getting nailed in the nuts with a frying pan is actually 'more' painful than it sounds! The old man stood over me and he says "Do you know why this happened?"I didn't know...then I remembered the scissors that were still in my hand. I looked at him with tears in my eyes and muttered "Scissors." He nodded and walked away.

That, my friends, is why you should never run with scissors. Learn from my mistake.

The moral of the story is that if you ever see Me rambling on about something, don't bother reading to the end because I rarely have a point, and when I do, it usually doesn't make sense.