Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Movie Fight I'd like to see...

I recently caught the end of Aliens vs. Predator the other day. How this epic film did not win any Oscars I will never know. It had everything - an Alien...a Predator...a hot chick who could kick ass! You want to tell me that isn't Oscar-Worthy?

Well...I reject the Oscar Awards, and will continue to do so until they pay reparations to Oscar the Grouch, Oscar Robertson and Oscar Meyer. And yes, I will be a real weiner about this.

Moving on from my latest all-consuming outrage, I was thinking of other movies that should follow the Aliens vs. Predator route. This should be a movie genre all to itself...

In this corner, wearing all black: the emotional goth who will cut your body with his hands and...your soul with those oh-so-dreamy eyes...Edward Scissorhands!!!! In the opposite corner in the red and greenish-striped shirt, the mangle-faced mangler of faces...the nightmare on elm street and beyond...Freddy Krueger!!!!

Who'd win - Scissorhands or Krueger?

I'm putting my money on Eddie. The quiet types will always surprise you, and don't let the sappy, goth kid thing fool you - that man is a maestro of mangling! Freddy Krueger tries to scare you so that you won't notice what a wuss he is. Hell, he's constantly beaten and outsmarted by horny teenagers, and science has proven that teenagers are dumb.

Advantage, Scissorhands!!!!!!

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