The Super Friends are the laziest Super Heroes ever!!!!!

OK, the Super Friends were the worst super heroes ever!

Don't get me wrong, I love that old campy cartoon, but have you ever seen a lazier, more incompetent group in your life? Are these people Earth's greatest heroes or are they music store employees?

Every episode end with the Super Friends stopping the Legion of Doom...who always escape thanks to some genius Lex Luthor plot device. That part doesn't bother me - he's a cackling evil genius, it's too be expected he'll come up with these things...but come on, Super Friends - how many times does it have to happen before you anticipate these things? And that's not even the worst part. No, that would be how they never pursue the Legion of Doom.

For god's sake - they're RIGHT THERE! CHASE THEM!!!

But no, never a chase to be seen. Nope, it's always "We'll be ready for them next time..." There won't be a next time if you chase them and catch them now, you lazy bastards!!!!!!

Eesh, and let's talk about these heroes. At some point some brilliant mind decided that they needed a diverse cast, and there's nothing wrong with that, but could they have gotten any worse with the stereotypes?

"OK, we need some minority representation, people. I'm thinking that we introduce an Asian character named Samaurai, an Indian (they were still called Indians back then) character named the Apache Chief, and an Afro-American character named Vulcan."

"Um, I've got a problem with that last one...why don't we call him Black Vulcan. You know...because he's Black and all."


Now that I'm older, I finally understand that the Legion of Doom was actually much cooler than the Super Friends. Hell, they had Black Manta. The Super Friends had Aquaman!!!

Let's look at the lineups for the two groups: The Super Friends have Superman, Wonder Woman, Batman & Robin, Green Lantern, Hawkman, Flash, Aquaman, Apache Chief, Samaurai and Vulcan...err, Black Vulcan. Pretty cool lineup.

The Legion of Doom has Lex Luthor, Cheetah, Giganta (two women as opposed to the Super Friend's 1, so the LOD has that original sin thing working against them!), Gorilla Grodd, Solomon Grundy, Toyman, Sinestro, the Riddler, Scarecrow, Black Manta, Bizarro and Lex Luthor-in-hot-pants, a.k.a Brainiac. There is no way that this team does not dominate the Super Friends!

I remember as a kid thinking that Sinestro had a sunburn...but then I learned he was supposed to be pink. I hope that his parents weren't shocked that he became a criminal...they named him freaking Sinestro!!!! Of course he's going to end up bad. Why not name him Evilo, or Nefarious Bob? I bet if he went to court his lawyer would use that as an argument to get him off of the charges of robbing Fort Knox with radioactive pickles, or whatever it was that he did.

I'm going to touch on Brainiac's hot pants again. People always make "Batman and Robin were gay" jokes...but I think that Brainiac figures into that discussion as well.

"Who likes short shorts? Brainiac likes short shorts!"

But you know what? All criticism aside, those sure were fun cartoons and I did love them when I was a kid!